Attack of the Little People

Ryan Seacrest is 5'8

Another Hollywood little person. I just don't get it.

KFed is glad he can dunk on Ryan.

Lindsay to the Rescue

Lindsay was dealing with Ryan Seacrest involving an upcoming project. Although Ryan is an indication of the impending Apocalypse, he can make you successful. According to Mike Walker of the National Enquirer, Lindsay bombarded him with texts and calls. She is acting needy and is driving away the Golden Goose.

Ryan Seacrest may be a powerful dark force but he is no match for the black hole that is Lindsay Lohan. She will bring him down.

Maybe this is a good thing? Will Lindsay save us from the Apocalypse?

KFed is ready to hide in Montana.

Maybe the World isn't Ending

I have been worried that the world will end because of the success of Ryan Seacrest. I have felt that Ryan was a sign of the impending Apocalypse. There is some hope and it comes in the form of the original sign of the Apocalypse, Oprah.

Oprah's ratings have been plunging over the years. She is currently mirroring ratings she received in 1983. This is incredible news! There may be light at the end of the tunnel. The fall of Oprah may signal the continued existence of society.

Thank you God!

KFed is afraid of Oprah.

Tool's Top 5 Douche List

I have lost time in my life that I will never get back because of these people. They continue to wage their war on society. When I close my eyes, they remain in my thoughts.

5. Christian Audigier

The man who created Ed Hardy.

4. Ryan Seacrest

The man who had to have sold his soul to the devil to get this kind of success.

3. John Mayer

The next time I hear "Your Body is a Wonderland" I am going to kill myself.

2. Criss Angel

The only thing I want him to make disappear is himself.

1. Spencer Pratt

This man's picture is next to the definition of douche in the dictionary(look it up).

The list may change but Spencer Pratt has a COMMANDING lead every time.