Kelly Clarkson

You are very talented... at eating. 

Please Kelly. You are the American Idol. Can't you put the fork down and step away from the table just once? Wait to get fat after your career is over. Jim Morrison did that and then died in a bathtub as a very large mammal. 

Don't be a fat Melissa Etheridge. There is no way you are lesbian. You don't look the part.

KFed is worried you may eat one of his kids.