Holy Cow!

Someone has not missed a meal in a long time.

KFed thinks Kelly is closing in on Rosie-style.

Kelly Photoshop Clarkson

Clearly someone had some extra time to digitally lipo Kelly.

KFed wants to go to a buffet with Kelly.

Kelly Clarkson

This is going too far. 

You are as big as a house. Looks like your coat was made at a tent factory. How hard would it be to skip a single meal each day? Did you give up? Please for the love of God.

KFed hopes you don't mistake that mic for a hot dog.

Kelly Clarkson

Kelly performing in Utah.

Did you eat the entire state before you left? Oh Kelly. 

KFed loves Mormons too.

Kelly Clarkson

This guy is crazy to enter the cage of Kelly Clarkson.

I bet he would be safer if he entered the tiger cage at the San Francisco Zoo. If you look closely at her eyes, you can see the delight in her next meal. Her tongue is stained because she ate a small child earlier.

God save this man!

KFed thinks they should make a Jaws-like movie about Kelly's eating.

Kelly Clarkson

The hits keep on coming.

Kelly it looks like you ate a small child. 

PUT THE FUCKING FORK DOWN!

KFed doesn't think you should have open-toe shoes. 

Kelly Clarkson

You look like a fucking float in the Macy's parade.

KFed noticed the ink on your arm.

Kelly Clarkson

You are very talented... at eating. 

Please Kelly. You are the American Idol. Can't you put the fork down and step away from the table just once? Wait to get fat after your career is over. Jim Morrison did that and then died in a bathtub as a very large mammal. 

Don't be a fat Melissa Etheridge. There is no way you are lesbian. You don't look the part.

KFed is worried you may eat one of his kids. 

Kelly Clarkson

Since you've been gone, you got fat and started looking like a man.

KFed is confused.